Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
