I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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