she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
