I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize