hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
