I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
