I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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