I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
