I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
