So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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