her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
