We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
