im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have post one night stand depression
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