Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
