So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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