How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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