I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
