I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
