Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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