we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
