so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
