in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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