is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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