If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
