I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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