Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
