We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I supernannyed him into submission
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
