it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
