Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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