Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize