physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
