No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
