glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
