i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
