Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
