sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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