I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
