Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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