Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
