Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
