dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
did you just send me my own nude
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
