I think I died a long time ago.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
