what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
