me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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