she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
