i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
