i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
