i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize