I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
