why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
