Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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