Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
