so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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