I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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