Your dad touched me again.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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