I accidentally burped into my bong.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
wow bdsm is so cute
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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