Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
