My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
