He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
