Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
