Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
