i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
God, I missed his penis.
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